Time: 02:24 (approximately)
Location: Cornflake & Lou’s Living Room

Everyone had sloped off to bed after another successful murder mystery dinner party apart from Cornflake who was clearing away wine glasses and I who was sleeping on the sofa so was already in bed. We’d been talking all night about resolutions and I’d come up with a few that I thought would suffice but then Cornflake said “C’mere Ally” and pulled me into a hug,

“I’ve got something I want you to work on for me this coming year,” I started to imagine what he might need my assistance with, he a partner in a GP surgery, a dab hand in the kitchen and pretty good at DIY… He continued, “I want you to work on being happy with yourself, just the way you are.” I gulped.

“Al you’re not perfect, none of us are! But you are wonderful and it’s time you started to believe that. Promise me you’ll try and work on being happy with yourself?” I was choked up and dangerously close to sobbing on his shoulder but managed to reel it in before promising that yes, I would work on my cripplingly low self esteem.

So what are my 2013 resolutions?

1) I’d like to say raise the level of my self esteem but it’s been so low for so long I think a good place to start is: Get some self esteem!

2) Related to number one: Be less of a MUG!

3) I’ve moved an old desk, chair and stool from house to house since about 2006, promising with each move that this one will be the one where I strip the paint off, restore the wood and reupholster the stool and yet they’re still all Laura Ashley cream and blue sponge painted monstrosities. In 2013 I am going to: Restore my old furniture!

4) The Urban Family have approximately ninety five million photographs of me where I look like I’ve just poohed myself or am about to burst into tears. At one of the weddings this summer, a couple of them spent time with me trying to get me to relax in front of the camera in the hopes of getting a picture of me where my eyebrows aren’t knitted together in fear. Now if I’m in front of the camera then it’s all gravy but as soon as I cotton on to someone else pointing a camera in my face, the hairs on the back of my neck rise and my standard response is to pull a stoopid face. So: Learn to be comfortable in front of the camera lens!

5) I’ve got my annual company medical coming up in 55 sleeps and I’d like to have got some more weight off by then – at least a stone. You can check on my progress of my Tales from the Scales in the top right hand corner where there is now a handily placed weight ticker… no hiding now! Get a smaller bum!

6) The final one is a double whammy, to stop both caring and trying to guess what other people are thinking about me. It holds me back wondering and worrying what perfect strangers might think about the size of my arse or the fact I’m alone at the cinema and it holds me back through fear of sticking out. I’m bloody fed up with it so my final resolution: Stop giving such a shit!!

So there we have it, my path for 2013. What hurdles are you going to try and overcome in your life?