Edible Underpants and Toni Morrison’s Vagina

Two long weekends in a row? Ooh Ambassador you are really spoiling me… Or in reality, giving me more work to cram in to less time. Swings and roundabouts.

Good Friday became Great Friday as I had a very lazy morning before hopping in the car and heading off to see Teeny and Bear in their new digs. They were dog sitting for Lucy the cheeky cocker spaniel who has hair like Noddy Holder and likes to lick people’s faces whilst they shriek and giggle. Maybe that’s just me?

Sunny afternoon in the park
Sunny afternoon in the park

We walked the pup, drank wine, played Cards Against Humanity with hilarious (potentially offensive) results and did a lot of catching up.

Not for the easily offended... (click to enlarge)
Not for the easily offended… (click to enlarge) ‘Rumour has it that Vladmir Putin’s favourite dish is BLANK stuffed with BLANK’

They’re getting married next month and after spending a considerable amount of time sorting out a hundred little bits of paper into a semblance of order to make their table plan, the puppy jumped up at me and I ‘OOOF’ed with a sharp exhale sending a hundred little bits of paper flying. Fuck. Thankfully I’d suggested they take pictures of the plan every step of the way so it was just a case of putting them back into the right order, not starting from scratch. After subjecting Bear to a Hills marathon (fuck me Spencer Pratt is MENTAL) I hopped into the car and on the spur of the moment headed for Sussex for cuddles with my niece and nephew. I tried on my brother’s crocheted handiwork – he’s made a range of hats for my nephew including a full face Spiderman mask, a Batman mask complete with ears and this Captain America badboy:

Captain America!
Captain America!

Then after making a small dent in the wine collection being stored in the downstairs bathroom shower cubicle I collapsed into bed and slept so soundly that young nephew thought I had died in the night and there were tears. Big tears. Oops.

On Monday we went to our local for a lunchtime pint and an owl experience – little nephew being far braver than I when it came to getting stuck in at holding the owls as you can see from my stance whilst holding a tiny barn owl. I must excuse myself a little by letting you know about the MASSIVE (or as nephew says MAFFIS!) bad tempered Eagle owl just out of shot who was throwing a benny and flapping his wings like a madman.

SCREECH!
SCREECH!
Hazel the Eagle owl (she was lovely, her boyfriend was a grumpy fucker!)
Hazel the Eagle owl (she was lovely, her boyfriend was a grumpy fucker!)
This little dude was my favourite, his expression clearly says ‘Another photo? Honestly *rolls eyes*’

After muchos fun with the fam I hauled arse back to Hampshire to hop in the shower and wash off the smell of owl shit before heading out for a dinner date. DUN DUN DUHHHHHHHHHHHH! (to be continued…)

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