Church Lane Thigh Pain

I grabbed the bull by the horns this morning and walked the 2.3 miles to work. People all seem to be giving me praise for doing it however if I’m honest had my car not gone kaput last night there’s no way in hell I’d have commuted on the horse of ten toes! There were several, okay many moments where all I wanted to do was park my fat arse down on a wall somewhere and have a cream cake but I persevered. The thoughts that were spurring me on were like this ‘size 16 bridesmaid dress, hot younger man who I very fancy, shopping for new clothes oh and I don’t want to die in Highfield with no make up on!’ Upon my sweaty huffing arrival to the office I went and hid in a toilet cubicle whilst using most of Boots to disguise my red sweaty betty face. It was comforting to know that at the same time my best girl (tremendously fit and healthy) was doing the same thing in a toilet in Cornwall. Of course she’d just completed a 4 mile mountainous cycle and does Taekwondo each week so I’m a way off her level of health just yet but it was a great telephonic bonding moment.

Having restored a modicum of calm to my face I waddled to my desk and very gratefully sank in to my fat girl chair (it’s massive; two normal sized people could share it) turned my sweaty girl fan on and drank water like it was something far more delicious. I could feel the burn in my muscles somewhere deep, buried under layers of flab in my thighs and for that I could thank the heinous bitch goddess that is Church Lane; a hill that felt so steep this morning at the very end of a forty minute walk that I wanted to cry and thought my lungs were going to burst.

Fast forward about an hour and surprisingly looking back I enjoyed my walk even if I did want a lie down and a multipack of crisps afterwards. I noticed that I’d been setting myself little challenges along the way which I may possibly even be looking forward to trying to beat (15 mins from the Manor to the Good Doctor’s old house; 5 minutes from there to the far end of Womble lane and so on) and I have definitely appreciated the extra spring in my step around the office today. I have a deep rooted fear that once I finally get home tonight having done the trek in reverse my body is going to seize up and I will be reduced to crawling to work tomorrow….. But if this doesn’t shift the plateau, nothing will!


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