Ding ding! All aboard the insult express

Did you know my confidence is growing? Apparently it is, which is quite surprising given the zingers I’ve received this weekend!

You’re wearing baggy trousers, it’s hard to tell you’ve lose weight….
They’re baggy because I’ve lost so much!

Stop sending picture updates – people get bored….
Nnnnn! Gaaah!

I can only see your weight loss from your waist up….
Could the table I’m sat behind have anything to do with that?!

I’m glad food makes you sick, it’s nature’s way….
Ahh, so you want me to become bulimic? Niiice

Wear your hair tied back, it makes you lift your head which hides the double chin….
From the person who for years told me to wear my hair down so I didn’t look butch!

You should wear baggy clothes until your hips and bum are smaller….
Would a potato sack suit?!

This weekend was pretty shitty when it should have been an awesome time – blue skies, free time, the family, good music, a BBQ oh and the most gorgeous nephew in the world taking his first wobbly steps and being a big brave boy practicing all weekend! I could barely eat a thing due to the angst, stress and awkwardness so then I was tired and didn’t really want to be there which in turn made me sad because I love Humph and my nephew so much and yet I don’t really have a relationship with them.

One of the most precious moments was a bit of Daddy Daughter bonding on the driveway at the Manor. There is nothing better in the world to me than having a hug from my Pops as they don’t happen very often so a hug combined with those 5 immortal words ‘I’m so proud of you’ washed away all the shit of the previous few days.


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