My name is(n't) Earl…. but I do have a list

But I do have a list.

Thankfully I haven’t been such a heinous beast of burden in the past to necessitate a karma list, and nor am I still in a position where I think I am going to die before the age of 35 so I don’t need a bucket list. So what should my new list be called? I think I’m going to call it the ‘Screw you body fat I’m gonna have some fun’ list! It’s all the things I’ve always wanted to do but never in a million years would have even contemplated thinking about doing when I still needed a crane to get off the sofa. And the best part about it is, I am going to tick off a good handful of them this year.

I could pamper you all and paste it up here but I think it’s more fun to keep it as a secret between me and my dog eared journal where it was hastily scribbled. I have visions of a spin off blog where I chart my progress through ‘THE LIST’ (imagine Mr Movie voice saying that and you’ll understand how I hear it in my head) in a Danny Wallace/Dave Gorman type adventure, which will naturellement get published and turned into a major motion picture starring Nikki Blonsky the chubby bird from Hairspray as a pre-op me and obviously Jennifer Garner as me now. I’ve been told I look like Lisa Loeb (remember her, the chick who sang ‘Stay (I missed you)’ but she faded into obscurity in about 1995 and I don’t think she ever had any acting talent and so I feel that J-Garn will have to do. Look at me saying ‘will HAVE to do’ as if it’d be a hardship to be represented on the silver screen by the Garner. I’ve gone all lah-di-dah and Hollywood diva already!

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