I played the role of the dutiful Goddaughter today and went to a Ruby wedding anniversary buffet lunch for my Godparents back home. Having received the invitation to a buffet lunch starting at half twelve I reckoned I’d rock up about ten to one so as to avoid being the first person there…
I’d not really thought it through though as barring a handful of guests everyone was over 70 and so it was a full on sit down buffet lunch affair which was being delayed because yours truly (who had been allocated a seat on the top table) was fashionably late! Whoops! The ruby-est thing in the room was my face at holding up 100 hungry pensioners!
Lunch was really nice and I knew it meant a whole shedload to them that I was there (and I would never have gone as a pre-op) but bugger me it was hard work. Quite apart from 100 pairs of eyes watching a very late me enter the room, more than half of the people there knew Mum and seemingly were all of the mindset that they were devastated to have lost her and that she had been their closest friend *ever*. I’m not knocking the depth of their feelings as Mum was a pure diamond that everybody loved but I found it a smidgy inappropriate for them to have this massive outpouring of emotion on what was supposed to be a happy occasion. Plus, bearing in mind Mum’s been dead for eleven years; they didn’t come to the funeral; they were all shocked by my existence in the World, well, how close were they exactly? It shook me up and left me feeling fragile and so I was very glad to make my escape. I also saw my old Primary school headteacher who kindly told me I was mental for considering teaching ‘in this day and age’. She actually reminded me of an Emmerdale farm cliche character all ritzy glitzy lady of the manor, my horses, my rangie, blah de blah and so I was glad to get away from her!
A tough day all in all, but made better by coming home for an early night curled in the foetal position which made it so much better.