Work it baby!

I conquered my own personal Everest today and it was wicked. Normally when in the Evil Emporium that is Evans I’d either a) not try anything on, wait until I got home and then find that nothing fit or b) scurry in to the changing room, try things on in the vain hope I’d be able to artfully arrange my flab enough to make said garment fit and then have a demi-tantrum when I couldn’t before escaping home to sulk.

Not today dear readers! Today I, along with two bad girl companions reclaimed the changing room *insert Spice Girl style high kicks here* pow pow pow! Avoiding the glares of the so hip it hurts sales assistant we decided to hold a ‘frock off’, the challenge being to find the most hideous outfit imaginable for a changing room runway show. I was hoping that someone would choose the Madonna-esque black lace leggings (Really? In a plus size shop? SHAME ON YOU!) but thankfully they were only available in a size 16 and none of us are quite that slinky yet. Personally I went for a 70’s print cami/cardie affair in hideous stretchy lycra with an argyle pattern waterfall effect skirt in aeroplane grey – yum. Those are some photos I hope never see the light of day! Whilst doing our runway show and giggling about the hideous clothes I even found myself dancing in the middle of the changing room to ‘Kick Push’ by Lupe Fiasco, IN MY BRA AND JEANS, yes, I do think somewhere in the mall I’d ingested some crack without realising it. This from someone who six months ago wouldn’t look in the mirror in the privacy of her own bedroom unless she was fully clothed, and even then would avoid more than a cursory glance at anything falling below the collarbone. The times they are a changing!

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