Shark Attack!

My faithful readers will remember how I said that I thought it might be time to get out of the water as there was a shark on the horizon, well I was right! Gussied up (and feeling like a right turkey) I went out on my first grown up date on Sunday night however unfortunately it left me wishing I’d stuck to my usual Sunday night ritual of monging about on the sofa dreading going back to work!

Although it was a bit of a disaster it did teach me a valuable lesson as it has made me realise that for the first time ever ever ever my self esteem is on the up! Having been in an email-a-thon with Chewie since before Christmas I thought I had a good idea about what sort of fella he was….. I am sad to say I was proved wrong when I was faced by a man who tried to full on pash me on my doorstep when picking me up, had another crack at some hot lip to lip action in the carpark when we arrived at the bar, made suggestive comments all the way through our two torturous pre cinema drinks, and then once I did feel comfortable enough to have a little smooch at the end of the night (mainly because he managed to behave himself all the way through the film) he almost instantly went for an under top grope of Larry the left without even testing the water with some ‘outside of the clothes’ fondling! Needless to say his hand was promptly removed from my top, as was my bottom from his car and I went to bed (ALONE!!) feeling distinctly unsettled by the whole thing. I realised though that as a pre-op lard arse I would have let him do whatever he wanted, so pleased would I have been by a piece of man meat taking interest in me…. Well not anymore boyos!

I spoke to my best girl about it and because she is so nice she advised that I mention to him how uncomfortable I was with his behaviour and that if he wanted a second date he’d have to wind his neck in and stop being such a lech. So in order to be more open to experiences and in general more open about feelings and other emotional bullcrap I sent him an email saying that he had made me feel very uncomfortable and that I wanted to take things slowly because, contrary to whatever impression he had gained of me I was not in fact a Sierra Lima Alpha Golf! I was pleasantly surprised by the reaction wherein he apologised for being a twat and I sighed whilst thinking that maybe, just maybe this could go somewhere if only he could keep it in his pants. Less than eight hours later my phone trilled with a message in which he saw fit to tell me that he was ‘thinking of me’ whilst ‘lying on his bed in boxers’……. ERRRRRR well done chump, from hero to zero in 0.3 seconds!!


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