A litmus test

Want to know one sure fire way to tell you’re shrinking? Spend the night sleeping on a wooden futon under a single duvet.

Eight months ago I was so big that it used to be drafty sleeping under a double duvet as it was akin to covering a mass the size of Germany with a postage stamp. I was a nightmare bed partner pre-op for a variety of reasons and so on the rare occasions when I managed to lure a man into my bed it was not a fun experience. My snoring had been described as like having a lion in the house, I literally took up 2/3 of the bed and all of the duvet and everytime I had to roll over I couldn’t help but think of the R.E.M lyric ‘I’m pushing an elephant up the stairs’ so great was the effort involved!

My newest revelation about being slinkier came last night whilst on a girlie weekend at my best girls house – I had grabbed our spare duvet from the house and actually had to check with one of my housemates via text that it was definitely definitely a single because it had been so roomy. It even crossed my mind that, like my namesake, I had swallowed a potion and shrunk in size and that I was destined to go to a teaparty with someone wearing a hat and a dormouse asleep in a teapot. Unfortunately I also got some choice bruises from the slats but I am going to look on that as a positive though because it just means that the bones in my body, previously buried under a large adult male amount of fat, are slowly being unearthed like in an archaeology dig.

Another bonus of losing weight? Not using so much petrol! A fellow post-opper mentioned this little gem and I really noticed it on my epic trip to the end of the country. I’ve lost the equivalent of a whole person and so now I am officially travelling alone when it’s just me in the car! I wonder if my front right tyre will last a bit longer too without my bulk crushing down on it…..

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