Long Tall Alli

If you’re a woman who has ever been on a diet or been off a diet or even looked in the mirror and sucked in your tummy whilst dreaming about shedding a few lbs then you are probably well aware of the launch of the new ‘wonder-drug’, Alli or as I like to call it “the pill that will make you shit yourself”. Those in the know, or rather those controlling the finances took it upon themselves to decide in their infinite wisdom that the best thing they could possibly do to a tablet that has such hideous side effects is to make it available without prescription. This now means that people are free to take it without being monitored by their G.P even though (and this is crucial) you’re only supposed to take it for six months. There was a lady on telly the other day saying she’d been on it for over a year and how wonderful it was and what a difference it was making to her life, I wonder what a difference it’s making to her insides as well seeing as she’s ignored medical advice and taken it for far too long.

The other thing I object to is the way it is being marketed – a certain high street chemist has adverts playing almost constantly on their instore radio and they’ve also rebranded their scales with the Alli logos. They clearly think people will come in and hop on the scales and then there in the midst of their misery/indifference/joy* will glance down at the branding and suddenly see Alli as the solution to all their problems so will skip off to grab a box. I was under the impression that although anyone can technically go and buy Alli, anyone can’t technically go and buy Alli because you will need to chat to the “Healthy Weight Gatekeeper” aka the Pharmacist who will decide if the product is suitable for you….. all well and good in principle however why then does the aforementioned high street chemist have the tablets displayed on shelving as soon as you walk through the door nowhere near the pharmacy? They can’t seriously be suggesting that the teenage sales assistants they employ to twiddle their tills will actually stop people from buying the tablet if they don’t feel them suitable, can they? If you were a saturday girl getting paid pennies to stand and be cheery and sell suntan cream and athletes foot lotion would YOU want to suggest to someone that you think they might be intending to misuse a tablet or that they are anorexic and clearly in need of help? Didn’t think so. Now it could be that the good people of Boots (oh come on, we all knew it was them!) have a system whereby one must pick up a box at the front of the store and then schlepp all the way to the back of the store for the statutory chat with the wo/man in the know but that to me is a system that is easily bypassed. And as for the sales assistants who are brave enough to approach customers in store with Alli leaflets and ‘suggest’ they might be a candidate, well that’s just a lawsuit waiting to happen! I think the moneymen behind Alli have bought a shedload of shares in the adult nappy industry and so the only way to make some wonga is to mass market this, the tablet that makes you poo oil.

LongTallAlly doesn’t really approve of Alli being available unregulated (can you tell?), more than anything else it’s expensive and if your weight is seriously bothering you or affecting your health then as always your first stop should be your G.P and not some flash in the pan nasty side effect inducing costly tablet. /rant.

*delete as appropriate dependent on what scale reads vs weight one is in head

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