A mermaid with a fish allergy

The physics geek and I went out to dinner with “The Mermaid” last night and amazingly given it has been nearly ten years since I last saw her and P.G had never met her we got along famously. I’d like to apologise to the other diners who had to deal with our shrieks of laughter and massive amounts of banter with the waitress who at one point pretended to be invisible so she could try and draw on P.G’s head. I say I’d like to apologise however seeing as the other diners were a table of particularly local girls with attitudes the size of Montana my apologies will not be forthcoming any time soon.

To save the waitress having to walk back and forth across the restaurant we had all been crammed into a corner so were practically sitting on top of the table of attitudinally challenged local girls. I could tell they were enjoying this proximity because P.G can be sort of handsome in the right light and it was quite dark in there plus I believe they were slightly squiffy and we all know that “sort of handsome” can become “hubba hubba” when sozzled … One was enjoying it so much that if they are ever looking for a Sharon Stone v2.0 to remake the remake of Basic Instinct then she’s a shoo-in., I tell you it’s ever so disconcerting eyeballing a womans clunge whilst trying to eat the world’s most massive garlic bread.

One (a stick thin blonde who was doing a great impression of someone with daylight between the ears) seemed to have a real issue with me or more specifically with my plate of food, and kept shooting me glances that clearly said “should you be eating that?” and so like a game of expression Pong I kept up the “look at me like that again and I will introduce my fist, TO YOUR FACE” glances. I think I was winning, primarily because she was a stick thin petite blonde and I’m a 6’2″ woman who has brick shithouse tendencies

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