Am I only attracted to men who I feel are safe choices? Is it actually a carefully honed defence mechanism to protect me from potentially getting hurt? If it is then I’ve built myself up quite the little fortress if you take into account the added defensiveness of being fat and thus invisible to men, oh and the aura of pissed off ness that I used to exude in most social situations.
I had been thinking about throwing in the towel re: match.com and retreating into my shell now I’ve managed to shake off Mr Possibly French but my friend Mr Sub thinks that persistence is key in internet dating, as is an acceptance that how photogenic someone is doesn’t necessarily correlate to how attractive you may find them in the flesh, and he’s right. I wasn’t attracted to Chewie from his profile but he gave good email and I was pleasantly surprised when we met but then we all know how that turned out and now I think perhaps he should be renamed ‘Mr Grabby Hands’ and made to wear a cowbell round his neck.
I think internet dating is for me at least, the easy way out. I can keep my suitors at arms length which is infinitely preferable to letting them get close to me and potentially doing to my heart what lanky Northern ex-fiance did. I get to be rude and ignore men if I really want to without worrying about repercussions and I can even utilize the block function to ensure they never contact me again as I had to do in the case of one particularly over eager fresher baby from work who would email me, not wait for a response and then email again more insistent that I talk to him.
Plus as Mr Sub points out, being photogenic in your very best carefully selected photo has little to do with actual attraction and I don’t think deep down I have the time or the inclination to be having all sorts of dates with all sorts of men in order that I give everyone a fair chance even if they look a bit shonky in their picture. Hmm decisions decisions!