Blissed out bebe

I am at one with the mat, my body is fluid, I feel my sitting bones on the floor, breathing pranayama and letting the spirit fill me….

Hmm…actually throughout yoga last night I felt a bit like an elephant learning to be a contortionist tapdancer but came away feeling stretched and a bit spaced out in a good way, is that meant to happen? I was a proper sweaty betty by the end of the class which surprised me as on paper it looked like a lot of lying around whilst trussed up like a turkey in judo belts but given that I’d got such a sweat on it must have been doing something. I’m going to go again and keep going as it felt like a positive step forward in the re-creation and recreation de moi and also the other students seemed really nice but I remain sceptical as to what it will actually do for me. Nice in my books when it comes to exercise classes is them not laughing at my inability/complete lack of stamina or at my big wobbly dinner lady bingo wings as we all did our warrior pose in the mirror.

This yoga scared me a little bit to be honest, it was using props and shiz whereas the lovely safe yoga I spent 12 weeks doing in rehab was in a lovely warm cosy room and several asanas involved lying on the floor not moving – awesome!. Maybe I can should the two types of yoga to illustrate the change in my head? Old me loved lazy yoga in a warm room with lots of easy asanas and a non scary teacher who was a bit soft round the edges but old me also loved self flagellating; stuffing my face with food and generally failing quite a bit at life. New me? Well new me isn’t sure about new scary yoga with props in proper yoga studio with ripped instructor and big scary mirrors but new me is going to (in the words of ‘The Beautiful South’) carry on regardless because it is the right thing to do and as I read somewhere wise ‘every stride you take is making you stronger’. Yes I know it’s technically a quote about running, and yes I know I haven’t been running enough, especially when you consider I am bustin’ my hump round a 5k course in SIXTEEN days time but I think it applies to all areas of my life. Every walking step I take en route to work is another stride towards a stronger, healthier body. Every time I favour pumpkin seeds over pie is a stride towards a new existence. Every time I silence the inner critic or little whiny girl in my head is another stride towards being the all woman woman I know I can be. And especially every time I try something new, something that I want to do, regardless of what others might say, think, or feel about it, well that is the biggest stride of all.

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