I'm nearly 28 and yet I've never considered myself to be a grown up, always talking about 'when (if) I grow up' and still very much considering myself to be a child. Having surgery removed the 'if' clause from the phrase, it gave me back my chance at a future, and a shot at 'growing up' one day… That day is today.
I realised that I've lost the 'when I grow up' feeling – there is no longer a when about it, this woman is grown! The catalyst to make me realise that I am fully grown and have flown the nest is the fact that I disagree with and disapprove of something that my parents are involved with.
I can't quite put my finger on why this latest development has heralded the start of my adult life when all the other things such as moving out, getting a job, going into rehab and having major life saving surgery haven't. The only thing I can think of is that it is because I'm making my own decisions about things rather than blithely considering their choices in life to be 'the right ones' by virtue of the fact that they are adults. The other facet of adult behaviour is that although I disapprove of their involvement, I am offering them support and not heaping on extra pressure and drama to an already very stressful situation by airing my views.
Of course, the fact that I am keeping schtum over their situation means that in future I am going to feel able to listen to their advice or opinions when they offer them (frequently, after all what are parents for!) and then (this is the crucial bit) disregard them if that is what I choose to do. Groundbreaking isn't it?! Well, actually to all you normal, well adjusted people out there it probably isn't all that monumental. Suffice it to say that for little old muddled up me it's major to think that I no longer have to do everything my significant adults say that I should.
It feels like the universe is finally aligning in my favour and I'm free to do the things I want to do, follow the path I want to follow and stand on my own two adult feet. Of course in two years time when I'm staring down the barrel of the big 3-0 I'm going to look back on this post and wish I was still an adolescent, hormones and all.