It’s been over six months since I had my last kiss which isn’t too shabby, not exactly time to call it a day with men and buy a multitude of cats. (Dad, if you’ve managed to find this blog now I’d stop reading here). However when you consider it’s been nearly five years since I had any horizontal action you can understand why I think my lady area may have hermetically sealed itself through total lack of use.
I know I’m beginning to sound like a broken record about this man-larky but when you’re surrounded by loving couples, it’s fast approaching peak ‘spinster bitterness’ time – Christmas, New Year’s Eve and Valentine’s Day, the triumvirate of coupley evil – AND you’re starting to worry about your VIP area drying up from neglect then it does tend to weigh on a girl’s mind. I’m not hideous am I? Sure I’m a bit ‘fluffy’ as my surgeon put it, a bit flabby round the edges and could do with losing a bit more weight but I’m not *awful* looking am I? (That’s a rhetorical question before you all start piling in) I know I’m a bit kooky bordering on mental sometimes, but that has managed to calm down to a point where it is almost endearing. Without sounding like a bitch (but secretly, whatever) there are lots of women out there who are far more mental than I am and some who are downright pigdog ugly who have loving successful relationships so why can’t I?
After spending another lovely weekend with my family, it strikes me that time spent with coupley friends is bitterSWEET. I had to write it like that to indicate that the sweetness of spending time with people I love the very bones of is totally wonderful and immense in quantity. However there are those quiet moments, early in the morning or last thing at night when that awful feeling hits – not bitterness, for I am overjoyed at so many people I love having found ‘the one’ – it’s more like sadness that I’m still out in the wilderness man wise and can’t see that changing any time soon.
I know that desperation about finding a man stinks worse than day old farts and so I am going to ease up on wittering on about the man hunt for my own sanity and to maintain what few readers I have. PG actually snorted last night when I mentioned that I was considering signing up for www.mysinglefriend.com as he is of the opinion that everybody should just chill out and go with the flow.
Well fuck that, I’ve been doing it long enough – my last serious relationship was TEN YEARS AGO when I was a sprightly young 18 year old. I feel like I should be investing time and energy into finding someone special rather than bimbling along and saving up money for my spinster cat army so I’m going to carry on doing just that. Although I promise not to whine about it so much anymore…