Long Tall Ally has a goal that for once isn’t about breaking the record for longest time asleep in a single weekend, for number of handbags owned by a single person or for numbers of Tweets in a day. For the record, I definitely hold the first record, am working on the second and the third – I have no chance against some of my Twitter friends.
My goal? To shift one hundred lovely pounds. Sadly I mean lbs and not £, if I had to shift a hundred quid I could do it in the blink of an eye – hello Johnnie LouLou’s! – however these pounds will be a little bit harder to banish because they are of the lard variety. 100 is a huge scary number however in the manner of a Blue Peter appeal I am considering making myself a totaliser on the empty wall in our flat so I can count up to it and then celebrate with a big splurgy marker once I hit goal. Unfortunately I don’t think I can involve school children in my quest, I mean if they want to run cake stalls and do sponsored silences to help pay for the inevitable plastic surgery in my future then that would be fab but somehow I can’t see it happening. So it’s just me, my dumbbells, the treadmill and a good dose of willpower. Oh and my readers and my lovely friends. Kick me up the arse every time you see me please, ask me how I’m getting on, don’t let me wriggle out of answering, hold me to answering you with cold hard numbers. They say it takes a village to raise a child well in my case it takes a community to shrink my bottom.
My friend Doodah and I were chatting yesterday, (I was whinging about having a bottom the size of Cambodia and she was telling me that she was going to come round and slap me) and she told me that even though the scales still tell me I’m a fattie I don’t look like I am. I love the woman to death but quite clearly she needs to visit an optician. Granted I am significantly smaller than I used to be, I am no longer wearing circus tents as clothing but there is still quite a way to go until I can no longer be described as fat. I’m hefty at the very least. Having been blessed by the height fairy I am told many times that I ‘carry the weight well’ which I am grateful for but one simply cannot escape the fact that the weight I carry is too much, thus making me a fattie.
I’m not imposing myself any ridiculous deadlines for this, where the old me would have said ‘I’ll do it in 6 months’ stopped eating and gone OTT on the exercise, the new me is saying ‘I’ll do it – hopefully by the end of the year, but as long as I make the right choices and stick with it, I WILL do it’.