I've been contemplating whether or not to post this, but what the hey in for a penny in for a pound. I would say though, if you're related to me or feel like you could be related to me ie) have known me since I was knee high to a grasshopper then you might not want to read further. If you do read past this point but fall into the category of 'family', 'family friend' or 'someone with whom it would be excruciating to discuss this with' do me a favour and never mention it to me eh?! With that in mind, lead on MacDuff!
Spring is fast approaching, the time when all the bunnies will get frisky and make whoopee and well what can I say except, I've always been ahead of the game? Spring arrived on Saturday night and with that my man drought of five years ended.
Thanks to a man friend who shall remain nameless, the itch was scratched and more importantly, lessons were learnt. The gentleman in question had no idea that it had been approximately 1825 days since I had last been intimate with the opposite sex, although the slug of wine I knocked back might have been a clue. If the wine didn't do it the nervous chatter that I incessantly kept up whilst well pretty much all night definitely will have done.
I wish I could say it was worth the wait, that it all came together in a wonderful symphony and made the five years drought seem like a distant memory but sadly, it wasn't. Nerves, wine and expectations got the better of it and I ended up feeling very much like an *ahem* mid to late teen who was losing her virginity on a rickety sofa bed.
I was slightly more body confident that I had previously been, I did an internal samba when I realised my hip bones and ribs were prominent (only lying down obviously!) and almost bordered on feeling great about my curves but in hindsight I think that may have been the Pinot Grigio and not an actual confidence breakthrough.
I don't regret my foray into the world of men but nor am I in a rush to repeat it. It made me appreciate that the bit I crave is the cuddling, watching telly snuggled up, chatting shit and having nonsensical pillow talk. So if there is a tall handsome man out there who would like the cuddling, the snuggling and the inane pillow talk but is happy for the time being to let me get my shit together body wise then get in touch hey?