Puzzling

“And I have to speculate,
that God himself did make
us into corresponding shapes
like puzzle pieces from the clay”

The other night I was talking to my friend Adam (@amateuradam) about my man liaison and whether I could see any future in it. My answer was a resounding ‘No’ but my reasons took a little more explaining. I have a dream (sorry, that sounds a bit Martin Luther King, Jnr) about how finding the right man is like finding the missing piece of the puzzle.

The right man is like the elusive last piece, the one with no smooth edges who clicks into place and makes you see the bigger picture. It’s not about needing a man to complete you or make you feel whole, it’s about finding the right fit. If you’re like me then you start a jigsaw by finding the edge pieces and making a frame within which you will put the contents. To me, the frame is your life, your likes, your dislikes and what you want in a man. It’s your morals, your personality and the foundation of how you intend to cope in a fully functioning relationship. It’s the essence of you.

Then come the early loves (jon Storey), the teenage infatuations (Ollie Battams), the university heartbreakers (countless!) – all filler pieces who help you to see the picture more clearly but who aren’t the right fit. The filler pieces are crucial in narrowing down what you’re looking for in a man and also in teaching you valuable lessons about yourself as a lover, bringing you closer and closer to finding that elusive last bit.

‘Mr Lover Lover’ is a good fit for me but he isn’t the final piece in my puzzle, something I am okay with and something I hope he is too. Intellectually we fit together, and we make each other laugh and we have things in common (Sylvester McCoy was our Doctor) but, and this is going to sound a little bit chick batty – we don’t fit together physically. When I hug some people I can’t help but think ‘Yes, I could stay like this forever’ and I’m not ashamed to say, the old romantic in me wants it to be like this with my Mr Right. That’s not so bad is it? So for now, I’ll keep searching for that elusive last bit.

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