I feel like a zombie. Sleep keeps eluding me and I lie awake twisting my toes into my wrought iron bedframe and fretfully turning over and over thinking ‘my alarm is going off in a few hours, why can’t I sleep’. I’ve tried everything to make myself sleep through the night, I’ve listened to my body and gone to bed when it’s crying to sleep (20:20 being the earliest I’ve caved) and I’ve done the opposite and stayed awake long past when it’s been begging me to haul ass under the covers. Still no dice.
My prime eyes wide open time is around 2am and I usually lie there until about 5 before I soundly drift back off to sleep, sleep right through my alarm thus start my day in a panic and end up at work with hair like Russell Brand and no makeup on. It also makes me yawn my way through meetings. Most work meetings are difficult enough to stay awake in when you’ve had a full 8 hours let alone when you’ve spent most of the night chanting ‘sleep damn you sleep’.
The other thing it has had a marked effect on is my diet and exercise regime which has basically gone out of the window. A couple of times I’ve woken up ravenously hungry and committed the heinous crime of early morning fridge raiding and I haven’t been within sight of the gym* or walked to work since this all began. I’m counting sheep, I’m deep breathing and trying to stay calm, I’m putting lavender on my pillow, I’ve even tried meditation. The dark circles under my eyes are getting bigger and more furiously dark by the second and I’m learning more about my neighbours nocturnal habits that I’ve ever wanted to. The walls in our block are so thin I can hear Mr Downstairs get up four times a night (he pees like a racehorse), can recognise my neighbours cars from their engine sounds and am intimately acquainted with every single bump, line and crack on my ceiling. I’m loathe to take any sleeping tablets but at the same time somethings gotta give before I crack and flee to the roof of my building to pick off passers by with an assault rifle whilst screeching about aliens coming to get me.
*Ok so seeing as I work directly opposite my gym and can see the treadmills if I crane my neck slightly I have technically had sight of the gym. What I mean of course is that I haven’t busted my arse on the machines for a while and this needs to be rectified. Stat.