Man Maths

I’m currently in the middle of writing, working on the book that has lain unloved for a few weeks whilst I ‘process’ (more accurately whilst I have a teeny break from thinking about it) but I had to stop and share some wisdom that has come from a frankly rather unexpected source.

I’ve had this young fella me lad in my head for about a week now, am being a total sook about it, listening to our mutual favourite song, mooning about like a gigantic idiot and generally annoying myself that I can’t pop my head off like a Lego lady and be done with it all for a little while.

I found myself in a textual conversation with him the other night, don’t panic Dad I don’t mean naughty sex texting or owt just that we weren’t discussing things face to face. We can’t discuss things face to face because sadly neither of us has any willpower and it’s difficult concentrating enough to talk between snogging like teenagers and some chaste over the clothes rubbing (sorry Dad). Anyhoo, we were texting about whether or not to meet up and having gone back and forth about it for a few texts we decided that it was better to let a bit more water pass under the bridge before sharing the same airspace again.

Fair play, there is logic behind that decision but at the same time the fact that he claims to have ‘no willpower’ around me makes me go all weak at the knees and want to rush to him precisely so we can enjoy not having any willpower together. So, putting aside all that bollocks for a second, earlier on I was discussing the issue with a friend who is wise and manly and doesn’t mind telling me when I’m being a gigantic numpty. Interestingly enough he is also THE man from ‘The Day The Rain Came’ (yes, we have indeed bumped uglies) and so it adds a certain dimension getting man advice from the man who poked my lady garden with his swizzle stick to end my man drought.

There I was bleating on via text about this fella (oh alright I’ll ‘fess up, it’s bloody Scooby) and his lack of willpower issues and my friends response was ‘Oh dear, what a numpty. Ditch him!’ I then carried on bleating about how perhaps he’s not in the relationship zone at the moment and that surely the fact that he doesn’t have any willpower around me is a good sign for when he has sorted his head out a bit more?

The response came back and I could barely bring myself to look at it, knowing that it would contain a smack upside the head in text form:

‘I think you need to take you out of the equation and look at him. Look! He’s a twat!’

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4 thoughts on “Man Maths

  1. As always, insightful honey… I must admit, I like Scooby and his thought processes… I must agree with him… Sounds like a sap, waste of space, loser… (couldn't think of any more pleasant ones) You are worth a million of him and he should be proud to be with you.. He's a bloody idiot to not be man and grow a pair…xxx

  2. I don't understand what you're on about. Why don't you just do what ever it is you want to do with this man?PS the word ver on this comment is 'lingle'; like a cross between 'legal' and 'linger'.

  3. @Kimberley – as discussed I'll proffer my face for a sharp slap 😉 @Gordie What I *want* to do with this man is be in a relationship with him, something he claims he is not in the right headspace for having recently come out of a longterm relationship. Whilst we have no willpower around each other I'm not the sort of chick who is into casual liaisons, hence the enforced time apart.

  4. It doesn't have to be a casual liaison; it could be a relationship that you're a hundred percent committed to for as long as it lasts (even if that's not very long.)The memory of what happened last time, or what you're not ready for, is helpful, but only in a negative way. It teaches you what to avoid, and stops you repeating old mistakes, But what matters is having something you can say 'Yes' to.As long as what you do together is grounded in what you feel for one another, you'll do the best you can, and it'll be good.

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