The object of my affection is an arse….

I’ve developed a little man crush, when I say little I mean it’s a little crush I haven’t suddenly started lusting after midgets or otherwise vertically challenged men.

It started the other afternoon in the sunshine whilst I was walking back to my car, I glanced up from tweeting to make sure I wasn’t about to walk into any parked cars again (yes I said *again*) when I was greeted by a very pleasant sight. The sight was a bloody gorgeous arse encased in a pair of black work trousers striding down the hill in front of me. I’ve never been an arse woman before having normally been attracted by forearms and hands (yes I’m a bit weird), especially if they’re a bit lumberjacky (see? WEIRD) however this was captivating and I literally couldn’t take my eyes off it. I am a pervert.

Overlooking the fact that the black trousers and white shirt combination made me feel like I was ogling a Pizza Express waiter or more worringly, a schoolboy, I kept pace with the bottom as a reward for a hard day at work. Thankfully before we had to go our separate ways ‘The Bottom’ turned round and I clocked his face – yummy with a hint of indie rocker and better than that I knew his name and whch department he worked in (all the better for stalking him, ahem, I mean artfully working out how to get to know him) which was handily based in a building in close proximity to mine.

Today I was queuing in the shop and I felt the hairs on the back of my neck start to rise which meant only one thing – ‘The Bottom’ was in perving distance. True to form there he was, striding across the playground wearing another pair of black trousers that displayed his glutes to perfection. Back at my desk and a quick bit of detective work revealed his marital status to be single and ready to mingle…. Okay so I added the ‘ready to mingle’ bit but a girl can dream?


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