Oy Vey

When I have a hangover I seem to transmute into a Jewish woman, shuffling round the flat exclaiming ‘Oy Vey’ at every little thing and sighing a lot whilst rocking pink checked PJ’s and a t-shirt (probably with egg on it). This was my state on Sunday morning after a night out for the Computer Geek’s birthday. It wasn’t just his birthday though, it was also an occasion that by rights meant that we all should have been on our very best behaviour – we met his lovely new girlfriend for the first time. Hereafter, lovely girlfriend shall be known as ‘Jet’ after the Gladiator I most wished to be when I was younger and the reasons behind this shall become apparant in time.

Thanks to JJ and the team over at ‘This Little Lady Went to London’ yours truly had a bottle of ‘Camitz’ fizzy vodka tucked away which I was saving for, well I was saving it until I wasn’t going to be home alone getting smashed on vodka. So the arrival of CG and Jet, plus the Physics Geek coming home from Roma was as good an excuse as any. I popped that badboy open and poured out generous doubles however then decided we should at least have a little sip first so we could appreciate the fizziness before knocking it back. Big Mistake. A little sip was enough to make me think I was going to throw my guts up, it tasted like a mixture of strong vodka, alka seltzer and a bit of paint thinner thrown in for good measure. It is most definitely NOT a drink that should be drunk without a mixer however I am a gigantic wuss when it comes to drinking vodka though. I added a slug of apple juice to it which was yummy but that combined with a couple of glasses of wine with Jet and I was on my way to being bombed before we even left the house. Over dinner we confirmed what we already knew, that Jet is bloody lovely, can keep up with our humour (which can be a little bit wide of the mark) and as if I didn’t have enough reasons to like her, she reads this blog (Hello!). Her good taste in men obviously extends to a good taste in blogs she frequents 😉

After dinner we wobbled (well okay I was the only one wobbling) over to The Grapes pub which sadly has gone up in price and down in quality of talent since Alex the hot barman left. More wine was consumed, a glass was smashed against Jet’s foot (sorry sorry sorry) and there was kissing a plenty plus a bit of booby mashing and someone got motorboated…. That someone was me. We decided that it might be time to move on and so left the pub, at which point I rightfully claimed my crown as the drunkest person in Southampton by reclining over a low wall for a photo, falling off and then being unable to get up due to my stupid wedge heels. Add to that some beautiful singing of 5ive songs and I’ll think you’ll agree, I was a mess. Having subsequently seen the photos I will be hanging my head in shame for a long time to come, the photo of me lying in the gutter is a particular low point. As my colleague ‘The Grumpy Granddad’ said I’ll be coming to you live and direct from an episode of ‘Boozy British Birds’ real soon.

As is becoming standard form when we’re at the bottom end of town we ended up heading to ‘Wahoo’ which as usual was deserted which means that some evil evil person didn’t have to queue to buy a round of shots which turned the rest of my night into a total blur. All I can remember is Jet requesting the ‘Gladiators’ theme tune from the DJ which (miraculously and bizarrely) he had?! Cue us strongarming our way round the dancefloor and generally rubbing some funk on it. I do know I then ‘chatted to’ a doorman that I used to work with – I was basically haranguing him to be nice to a friend of mine that he is sort of dating. Oh dear.

I woke up on Sunday feeling like a badger that shat in my mouth, and was heard to mutter the immortal phrase, ‘I’m never drinking again’ however with Loulabella’s birthday next weekend and the long awaited wedding of Mggy and Chopper Boy the weekend after let’s face it, it’s going to be a while before I’m on the wagon!

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