Long term readers of ‘Long Tall Ally’s Tales from the Scales’ may remember Marmaloid’s mantra when she was running in preparation for her beach wedding in paradise. ‘Ski fit, wedding slim’ kept her going on those cold rainy mornings when all she wanted to do was stay in bed with her gorgeous husband to be.
Well I’ve got my own mantra now which has been keeping me on the straight and narrow recently, ready?
‘LONG AND LEAN, SIZE FOURTEEN!’
I can hear the gasps and see the shocked faces, some of you thinking ‘how the frilly heck can a size fourteen be described as LEAN’, others thinking ‘Fourteen? She’ll look bloody anorexic’ and still more of you (hopefully) think ‘Good on you gal!’….
There have been some concerned friends saying that because I’m so tall I’d look like a walking skeleton and they may well be right. I might get to a size 16 or even an 18 all over and think it’s time to stop, but similarly, I might not. That’s the crux of the matter, I’ve never been a size 14, somehow I skipped straight past the ‘teens on the way to the twenties and subsequently thirties and so it’s definitely something to aim for.
I’ve never been slim or slender before and so have absolutely no clue what it might look like on me, I might look gaunt, drawn and haggard as a 14 or I might look fit and healthy. Who knows? I certainly don’t, but I’d like to be the one who makes the choice about what suits me.
In my ongoing quest for a smaller bottom I went out and purchased my first ever set of bathroom scales. There was never any point before because all it would have said was ‘ERROR: One at a time please’. I ended up treating myself to a swanky glass set which has so many functions it took me 45 minutes to programme the damned thing! It tells me current weight (obviously), weight lost since last weigh in, weight lost since I set the thing up, how many lbs left to get to goal (which it calculates as 10% of body weight), body fat %, body water %, BMI, BMR, horoscope, bank balance, birthday reminders, Christmas card list, errr, okay maybe not some of those. It does an awful lot though! The only problem is, I can’t stop hopping on to see what my body is up to. If I keep on like this I’ll find myself having to say ‘My name is Long Tall Ally and I’m a scale addict’…