I’ve said it before and no doubt I’ll say it again but hindsight is a wonderful thing.
At the time I thought I was happy living with the Physics Geek but living apart for almost a month now I’ve realised I was so far from happy I was almost back round to being happy again. I don’t think it was anybody’s fault, we were just too different to live as a duo. I love to chat, love to hang out and really like to know what’s going on in the lives of the people I live with. Some might call it being nosey, I call it being friendly.
The Physics Geek on the other hand is an android. A loveable android but an android no less. In all the years I lived with him I never saw him express any emotion, I’m not saying he didn’t *have* them but he never let them show and he cultivated an air of disinterest that made me so furious at times I could have throttled him. Asking how his day was at work would garner the response ‘work-like’, enquiring about his weekend plans would be answered by a terse ‘stuff’.
Our relationship broke down to the point where desperate for communication in the evenings I became like a nagging wife demanding he talk to me and he became a belligerent husband who found it amusing to torment me. I began to dread being at home at the same time as him, willing him to go out so I could have a night free from the ragey feelings that would bubble up inside me when he’d ignore me.
I found it hard to let go because I was scared of what life without him as my constant would be like but also because the ghosts of the past were hanging around reminding me of how great things used to be between us. Friends had commented about how it was like we were a married couple and it’s now I realise how right they were.
Here I am almost a month later and it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel like I’ve escaped from a bad marriage and can now work on being friends with my ‘ex-husband’ for the sake of our ‘kids’ (our mutual friends). Of course I only feel like that now the fecker has stopped ignoring me! Notoriously bad at keeping in touch, PG kept me waiting for almost a month before replying to me which made me wonder if we’d done irreparable damage to our friendship. I shouldn’t have worried though, one quick phonecall, one date for dinner set and banter levels restored to a record level.