No Dad, don’t worry I’ve not become a lesbian (I seem to start an inordinate amount of blogs with this line….) but I did have a lady date on Thursday with my wonderful friend Treasure. She of the year round tan, handsome boyfriend and laugh that makes me grin like an absolute eejit. Dinner, with a waitress who wished we’d shut up talking, look at the menu and bloody well order and then a drink served by a barman who tried to convince us to be ‘hard-core’ and have some cocktails on a school night.
I was a bit late to the ‘lady friend’ way of life (again, not a euphemism), because I always thought women would just want to talk about their boyfriends and relationships and S E X. I couldn’t ever talk about S E X before because it felt wrong and embarrassing as if whilst holding court on a S E X U A L encounter someone would call me out by saying ‘Oh my God, someone actually slept with YOU?!’ Now of course I can’t talk about sex because I’m not having any. Not even a sniff of sexual shenanigans for me, I think my vagina is going to seal itself over. (Sorry family, too much info right?!)
Anyway, away from my bermuda triangle and back to the lady dating. Female friends. Yes. My female friends freaking rock, I can’t believe I did without them in my world for so long to be honest. If I were to line them up in a row, apart from all being bloody gorgeous they’re all also bleeding successful at what they do and genuinely lovely to boot. In fact, if I did decide I ever wanted to become a lickalottapuss I’d probably choose one of them to moon over.
I think it all harks back to my Stepmum’s immortal utterance that there would come a time when I would want to be more feminine. I thought she just meant I’d want to start wearing skirts and shit (I am in fact sat here wearing a floaty floral summer dress and no I do not have a temperature nor am I doing it to win a bet) not that I’d also want to increase the oestrogen levels in my universe. I now have girlfriends, other than my darling Marmaloid, who I know have got my back, are there for me whenever I need them and will do anything in their power to make me smile. If that’s a by-product of wearing skirts, shaving my legs and not drinking pints then I am all for it.
I got a sneaky peek at my GLAMOUR article today, such a weird feeling to see my name and my words in print along with a whacking great big photo of me stood next to the old me. Bizarre. It’s in the shops on Thursday so pop along and buy a copy or have a nose and let me know what you think……….