Double Whammy from the Stepmammy

“Laura and Stephen (both accountants) just got engaged!”*

Quite a random text to receive from my Dad, especially because for the life of me I couldn’t work out a) who they were or b) why I was supposed to care. I mean, congratulations and everything but don’t expect me to send a card or buy anything off the gift list yeah?

Of course it wasn’t actually Dad who sent it, it will have been my Stepmum using Dad’s Blackberry to send me a subtle reminder that I have neither a man or a career. Thanks for that! That won’t have been her motivation, I’m sure she just thinks that I’d be excited by someone’s lovely news (it transpires I was at school with Laura, she was a couple of years below me and I’ve not seen or spoken to her in ooooh 15 years at least) but to me it was a double whammy text with the subtext “Someone YOUNGER than you with a GOOD CAREER has just got ENGAGED so when are you going to bring a man home and get a proper job, huh?”

The pressure is all of my own making even if my colleagues were quick to point out that there was a subtext to it. Familial pressure is quite fun when you’re not on the receiving end of it, I remember chatting to my sister in law The Middle Wife who was pleased when Humph announced that they were pregnant because it took ‘the pressure’ off her and The Shrink, at the time it made me giggle to imagine this white hot ball of pressure being bounced round the family. The ball is now in my hands only this time, who do I get to throw it to?

*Names have been changed to protect the happy couple

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