Anyone seen my Mojo? Nojo?

It’s been ages since I last even logged in to my blog let alone posted because my mojo which normally provides me with my get up and go, got up and went. I’ve been waiting patiently and sometimes not so patiently for it to return but it’s still in absentia – probably buggered off on a flight for tropical sun, leaving me well and truly buggered in (fairly sunny but not in any way tropical) Southampton. To rely on the Austin Powers definition of mojo would have you all thinking I’ve turned into a dried up old crone who hasn’t lured a man into her den of zum zum for donkeys years which of course is true however my definition of mojo is slightly different.

I just feel like a bit of a damp squib at the moment, as if the lights are on but the homeowners have been away on a world cruise, the milk has gone lumpy in the fridge and there is an avalanche of post behind the front door. I slept terribly last night, tossing and turning all sweaty and angst ridden wondering when I was going to snap out of my funk and then at some point around 03:30 this morning when the countdown to my alarm going off had reached a pitiful 120 minutes I realised – I could be waiting forever for my bloody mind to turn on, tune in and stop copping and so in the grandest tradition of some schmaltzy American psychobabble I’m going to ‘fake it until I make it’…

I’m going to pretend that I’ve got the energy to do anything other than sit zombie like in front of the tv, I’m going to convince myself that it’s not too much effort or too scary to pick up the phone and make some overdue calls to great friends and I’m going to keep pencilling in social engagements even though all I want to do is stay home with a blanket and some movies sucking my thumb like Linus in Snoopy. It goes to show the power of the mind though that I’ve managed to bash out this blog post (shite as it is) and already have another whirling round in my brain regarding body confidence issues when there’s a younger man on the scene when this morning I couldn’t even remember the last time I even picked my laptop up, let alone switched the fecker on!

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