Last Thursday I was finally cajoled into getting my arse into gear and pedalling hell for leather at a spinning class as egged on by Mermaid. I went along filled with fear that several of my much fitter friends had been defeated by the evil bikes, one had chucked her guts up all over the leisure centre car park whereas the other had made a solemn vow never to set foot near a class again. Oh dear.
Spinning taught me several lessons:
1) I hate spinning.
2) Mermaid is a fecking demon on the bikes and should I ever get into a spinning competition with her she’d whip my ass into next week.
3) I hate spinning. No, really. Really really. With a cherry on top.
4) If I put my mind to it, I can accomplish things even if I hate doing them. Accomplishing things I really hate doing then means I get to a) whine about having done it to get sympathy and b) treat myself by way of a reward.
On the ‘things I hate doing’ scale spinning is beaten only by getting a smear test and so by rights every time I step off the damn bike I should be showered in diamonds and wine by bronzed hunks in very tiny trunks. Right? The bit I hated the most was how uncomfortable the bike was, it was the most pain I have ever put my groinal region through and after about fifteen minutes I wanted to cry before hightailing it into the sunset to seek solace in a mojito. I was desperate to give up but then the beautiful 1940’s frock coat I bought at Hepwright’s popped into my head and I knew I had to persevere. For the sake of a smaller arse by the time I’m 30 I knew I had to keep pedalling and so I gritted my teeth, clenched my kegel muscles, narrowed my eyes and pedalled hell for leather. Miraculously by the end of the 45 minutes although I felt like I wanted to die I also felt very proud indeed. I’ve only been once since and I still hate it but, and it’s a big but (almost comparable to my own butt) it’s something that hopefully if I stick to it I’ll be able to see real improvements. I’m looking forward to the first class I can make it through without wanting to kill someone personally.