I’m not sure that quite covers it but I’m trying not to swear as much so can’t let loose on a whole heap of expletives to give you an idea of how much I hurt. I’d be quite happy if they could chop me off at the neck and then just attach that to my hips, doing away with the middle section of me entirely. It’s not all to do with the actual slicing and dicing as I am the lucky recipient of ‘referred pain’ which is pain elsewhere in the body caused by injury somewhere else. So where the surgeon fixed my hernia, it’s given me intense agonising feels like I’m being stabbed pain in my shoulders. Add to that my monthly visit by Mother Nature and I’m ready to be taken out back and shot.
I had surgery on Monday and then spent three of the worst nights of my life in hospital having to listen to people telling me that I’d had a lot of work done. I was expecting to wake up with a penis or something but actually it soon transpired that there had been some complications and I’d had four whole procedures carried out in one fell swoop. I can’t fault the surgeons or the nursing staff but surrounded by very sick people all attached to machines that bleeped continually and screeched alarms every time they moved I found it difficult to get any decent sleep.
A lady in my room had had a similar procedure to me (but slightly less complex and involved) and woke up with an NG tube and a PCA (morphine pump) so I was quite surprised to wake up to find nothing apart from the standard canular in my hand giving me IV paracetamol. “Paracetamol?!” thought I, “where’s the good stuff?!”
After three nights in hospital I literally couldn’t take any more bleeping and so almost leapt out of bed when lovely surgeon stood at the end of my bed and said “Home?” with a glint in his eye.
Now I’m home, I’m honestly regretting my decision. I hurt, I can’t get comfy and I don’t have anyone to bring me drinks and food in bed. Now is the time to man up and get on with it I guess…
*This has taken me over three hours to write! *sad painful face*