“It’s Monday morning 5:19, and I’m still wondering where she’s been, ‘cos every time I try to call I just get her machine. And now it’s almost six am, and I don’t want to try again, ‘cos if she’s still not back then this must be the end.”
I’ve not blogged for a little while and the length of time I’ve been away sort of crept up on my by accident as I kept saying that I would blog tomorrow. Tomorrow has only just arrived even though it’s still today as I feel like I’ve been in a whirlwind of being poorly sick, being on call at work, being in a state of licking my wounds over a disappointment and washing a man shaped person out of my hair once and for all. I’ll be honest, I also spent a couple of days thinking about whether I should call this blog a day and focus on other endeavours and spend less time being introspective about what I’ve been doing and thus spend more time out there actually doing it.
Although I consider myself healed post surgery (9 weeks on Monday woot) it’s been taking a lot of getting used to as I have to relearn what food I can and can’t have amongst attempts to cover up a few stealth pukes at work, at home and out in public. If you’re in my presence and you see me furtively looking around I’m not checking out the local talent, chances are I’m looking for somewhere to vomit.
Plus I’ll be honest, it has been a little bit tough adjusting to life without my little white pills propping me up. Especially with some of the stuff that has been going on that would previously have seen me up my dose or run to the fridge. Well not any more partner! Can’t do either of those things so have to find some other way to deal.
I’ve started running (I want to be self deprecating and make a sarcy comment about it being fast walking but actually, I run albeit fairly slowly) and although it is early days I am enjoying it immensely. Sure I wake up and my hips hurt and I am convinced I run like this:
But I’m going to persevere. Otherwise my new lovely friend and fitness bitch Carmen will kick my arse.
*I started writing this on Sunday and planned for it to go up Monday but failed in my attempt to stick to a deadline.