Lunges in the Loo

I’m running the risk of my dear colleagues thinking I am more crazy than they may already do in ‘fessing this but whilst my job is really jetsetty for all my travellers as they ping round the world to a range of destinations from the sublime (Bahamas anyone?) to the ridiculous (Basra) I get to sit at my desk all day from 08:00 to 16:00 and beyond – sedentary to the max!

So in a (slightly bonkers) way of combatting the desk bound nature of my daily grind and in an effort to get fitness and vitality into my life, I’ve started doing lunges and squats around the office. I bet you’re all imagining me trussed up like a 118 118 runner with a sweat band and jogging about the office like Mad Lizzie from TV AM. Well you’d be wrong. Thankfully.

But I am a secret squatter, a latent lunger if you will. Bashing out twenty quick squats in the stationery cupboard every time I visit the printer. Twenty deep lunges in the loo whilst drying my hands. All whilst desperately hoping that I’m not going to get busted by a colleague who will wonder what the ruddy fuck is going on. Last night when I got home I did a great rest day core workout from Spikes and Heels which damn near killed me. The Pilates 100 move shown below is particularly badass and I woke up this morning convinced I was dying of some weird combination of kidney infection, ovary rot and massive hernias – in fact it was my (lack of) core strength wondering what the shitting hell I’d been doing the night before. I suppose everyone has to start somewhere.

Pic from
Pic from

I’ve also reclaimed my kettle bells from a dusty corner of the kitchen and downloaded an app to my iPhone which takes you through guided workouts for beginners, intermediates and advanced swingers ranging from 10-20 minutes and bugger me if they’re not absolutely brilliant. I mean I’m typing this with my nose and I’ll never be able to move again having just done the beginners 10 minutes three times in a row to lift myself out of a shitty mood but mentally I feel fab which is all I want really. Well that and an ass that could crack walnuts…


4 thoughts on “Lunges in the Loo

  1. I now desperately want a t-shirt which says ‘All I want is good mental health and an arse that can crack walnuts”. Pretty sure there is a gap in the market right there

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