Stupid Cupid Part 1

In an act of potentially breathtaking stupidity last night I decided I wanted a male opinion on my newly created dating profile and so gave the login to my friend, henceforth known as ‘Cupid’ so he could have a squiz. I thought he’d log in and take a quick look at what I’d written before ribbing me mercilessly for being a huge dating site cliché and then leave it be.

I couldn’t have been more wrong. 

Imagine an overexcited child who is hopped up on sugar, crossed with a new puppy so excited it’s going to tiddle on the carpet and you’ll go some of the way to feeling what it’s like to be him with free reign on my account. First he wanted to answer the match questions on my behalf:

We'd totes have sex...
We’d totes have sex…

Then I got my first message from a potential suitor, but it became clear Cupid was too busy to reply…

Hot to trot? What am I, a horse? (Don't answer that)
Hot to trot? What am I, a horse? (Don’t answer that)

Then I got ticked off for doing something in my own account and I was beginning to think someone was getting a little carried away…

That told me...
That told me…

Cupid decided it was no longer just my account, it was OUR account and ‘me’ became ‘we’ as he started to settle in. Little did I know, he was just getting started…

Do I need a totem? #Inception
Do I need a totem? #Inception

He unleashed my ‘Quiver’ (I’m not really sure what it is either, but he’s right, it does sound a bit sexy) and my telling my Twitter followers about it prompted this response:

Ooh err!
Ooh err!

Is this the start of a flood of men sending love missives? (Probably not) In an attempt to take back some control I started doing a bit of window shopping and plucked up the nerve to send a message to a chap who took my fancy. And of course I let my ‘love sherpa’ know (as @Glitterlen described him) which prompted a text so hysterical I hurt my stomach from laughing so hard.

Guess Whoooooooo
Guess Whoooooooo

As someone who can be described as ‘fussy’, I was amused to see that Cupid is even pickier than I am and was rejecting men left, right and centre on completely spurious grounds.

I made the mistake of calling Cupid ‘stupid’ on Twitter, forgetting of course that he is omnipresent, knowing all and seeing all. This made Cupid cross and left me wondering if I’d made a gigantic mistake…

Do not goad Cupid!!

2 thoughts on “Stupid Cupid Part 1

    1. It’s certainly amusing and it’s stopping me from taking it too seriously which I think is definitely a good thing. Plus he’s recommending all sorts of people that I’d never look at normally! xx

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