I’m done. Done with doing it like a girl, or more accurately given the way things have been going recently, doing it like a douche.
I am of course talking about dating and the way that I tend to put all my eggs in one basket, or all my snogs on one face. I find it really hard to remain casual but then again given the latest shenanigans with ‘boy who gave me all the great chat about chemistry, and what luck we found each other and letting down barriers and then after agonising about it, suddenly saw me as a friend’ you can’t blame a girl for, y’know, believing the tripe that comes out of some blokes mouths and allowing herself to get a smidge excited about it.
After gathering the girl council and attempting to wrap our heads round such a complete and total boy style 180 I decided that actually a) I’d had a lucky escape and b) I was done with dating like, FOREVER.
Once I’d stopped spitting feathers and flipped back out of man bashing mode I made a pact with one of the girls that from here on out we’d do it like dudes. None of the girlie pow wows trying to decipher text messages or the ridiculous ‘how many kisses did he put and does that mean he wants to put his tongue in my mouth’ chat, none of the letting our minds wander to lazy summer days mooning around like lovesick teens before we’ve even finished the first date, or waxing lyrical about how wonderful and amazing and just totally perfect they are before you really know anything about them.
In a nutshell it’s time to get real. From here on out it’s more men, less emotions. Not in a slaggy way like, but no more eggs in baskets thankyouverymuch! But worry not, I shall not be grabbing my crotch or wearing my hat low. I’d look daft.