You’re in Mrs Anderson’s class and think she hates you but she doesn’t which you’ll find out later so for the moment you think she’s a giant pain in the arse. She will always count the scissors back in before you can go home and there will always be a pair missing. It’s normally Sam Holder.
You’re taller than everyone in the school and you hate it. Your boobs came in and you started your periods way too young and it’s making you feel like a freak. Everyone else WILL catch up but it’ll take a few years so for now, just ride it out.
Can you please try and stop being a wuss in P.E.? Alright, you’ve got no rhythm so hate dance, and you can’t even get your feet off the floor when it comes to rope climbing but can you at least give it a go? In a few years time you’ll start to enjoy playing hockey at school but your total lack of self-confidence will stop you from even attempting to join the school team I’m afraid.
Humph has hormones charging round his body and doesn’t mean to be gruesome. In a while you’ll actually start looking up to him – it’s around the same time you discover drinking alcohol at the park, your boobs start coming in handy then when you’re able to get served.
You’re not going to have your first kiss for a few years yet. In a couple of summers a boy is going to move in across the road. Mum will make you go over with a chocolate cake to welcome them to the street. Yes, it will be ball achingly embarrassing. You’ll develop a crush the size of China and will never manage to be cool around him.
One night he’ll get locked out of his house and come over to sleep on the sofa. You’ll spend time kissing (your first!) and then he’ll make you promise not to tell anyone. Don’t fall for his charm. He’s a user. Your second kiss isn’t much better as he will tell everyone he only kissed you because you promised to give him your walkman. Yes, boys are stupid so don’t waste too much time on them.
Spend as much time as you can getting to know Mum, I’m afraid to say you’re going to lose her in six years and it’s going to turn you upside down for many years afterwards.
At 10 you’re already a delicate flower, a sensitive soul who needs to be gentle with herself. You won’t be though and that’s okay too. Life is life is life. The ups and downs are just part of its rich tapestry (as your Mum says all the time).
Don’t worry, you’re going to be okay kid.
Love you, love you, mean it, mean it
With thanks to ‘My Life: An autobiographical journal from Adventures to Zealous Plots’ by Mr Boddington’s Studio