Concentration Tongue

After a fairly impressive string of updating every day I woke up this morning and thought “faaaaaaark, I’ve not written a post for today. Oh well I’ll bang one out at lunchtime and it’ll all be gravy”. 

Except I didn’t “bang one out”, I got the concentration tongue out (which made everyone in my office laugh) and did some secret squirrel crafting for a wedding on Friday.

The happy couple are officially hitched but are having a full on ceremony with all their favourite people, dancing until midnight, oh and yours truly overseeing proceedings in the role of unofficial registrar type vicar person. 
Sadly I don’t have a cassock or one of those incense jobbies to swing about, but I do have some beautiful wording and a healthy dose of nerves. I am so honoured to have been asked but also crapping my pants in case I fuck it up. I did a reading at an incredible wedding in January and practiced for AGES to do it “off book”, I was stood up there doing my best reading voice with the right inflections when WHAM… I forgot the next line. 

I wanted the ground to swallow me whole I was so mortified. Now I have the fear that I won’t just fuck up a reading, I run the risk of fucking up an entire ceremony. 

The last wedding I was at for this particular family I cried like a damn baby because it was so wonderful and as a family they mean so much to me. Note to self: do NOT cry this time! 

The last wedding I was at for this particular family I cracked open a bottle of Fireball whiskey, got completely trollied, lost my car keys and fell over and chipped a bone in my wrist. Note to self: do NOT drink Fireball, lose keys, and chip another bone. 

Quite a lot to remember but I know it’s going to be great fun. I have a boot full of jam jars, a folder full of wording, and a camera primed and ready so I think I’m just about all set. 

But just don’t fuck it up. 

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